Learning to Deal with Sympathy Pain – Part I

Wow, what a week it was!!  One of our cats, 9 yr old Tora, went in for dental cleaning last Monday – that’s what I was hoping to have done on that day – well, it turned out that he had a very painful condition called FORL (Feline Odontoclastic Resorptive Lesion), and he needed to have four teeth extracted.  Now he doesn’t have many teeth left in his mouth.  He even lost his precious lower right canine.  All he has are a set of upper right teeth and a set of lower left teeth.  In other words, there are no matching teeth up and down to chew things.

"Are you kidding? I will tear this cone of shame as soon as I get home", and he almost did.

Unfortunately, Tora was still in so much pain and bleeding from his gums.  He couldn’t eat or drink for three days after the surgery!  I gave him homemade chicken soup everyday using a syringe.  There was something very wrong about his “un-recovery” process.  We brought him back to the vet office on Wednesday.  Apparently, the sutures were loose and the holes were exposed.  AHHHH!  The vet sewed them back again, but he didn’t give us any extra pain medications to bring home, with the reason being that Tora still has his pain medication in his system for a while.

A long story short, as of today, Tora is still not coming back as his usual “play-boy” self.  He is actually getting worse, in fact.  He retreats himself upstairs in our closet, in a dark and quiet corner to rest all day.  He doesn’t come downstairs to see Mikan anymore.  He wants to be alone.  He eats a quarter can of Wellness brand (softest texture I could find on the market) four times a day while struggling to keep it in his mouth.  He drools because his tongue movement is awkward.  However, I am thankful that he still has some appetite. It is so miserable to watch him suffer.

Jeffrey called the vet office first thing this Monday morning to request the pain meds for Tora.  We got them now, and I am little bit relieved to know that Tora is not in a huge pain anymore.  However, something is still bothering him.  According to the vet, he should be back to normal “self” by now.  Well, individual cats experience everything differently.  Cats ARE individuals!!

"I want my brother back. Do you know where he is?"

OK, by now, you can clearly hear my frustrations, anxiety, and fear.  I am slowly learning how to deal with Tora’s pain.  What I mean by that is, I feel like I am in pain too!  I am literally his Mom as far as I’m concerned.  I feel like I gave birth to him.  Unless I let go of my worries and negative feelings, it occupies me 24/7.  That’s not healthy, is it?

I am using flower essence for myself to calm down and worry less.  I made a combination bottle of Walnut (protection from outside influence), Larch (boost self-confidence), and Red Chestnut (relieve specific fear to others – loved ones).  I am totally overdosing flower essences, but there are no worries – it is just flower water after all, and it is OK to overdose.  The most important thing is that it is working subtly but surely.  I also sit quietly near Tora and think of and visualize lots of fun activities that we do together.  Strangely, Tora sometimes starts purring, and I feel much better after that.  Of course, grabbing my favorite drink – a cup of green tea latte at Starbucks also helps.

Do you know any other methods to heal our cat-mom sympathy emotional pain without drugs and alcohol, please share with me!  I will be grateful.

Comments

  1. Frances says:

    Ohhhh, poor Tora. Sending positive thoughts out for you and Tora.

  2. Jennifer Rockenbaugh says:

    Misa,

    So sorry to hear that Tora isn’t feeling well. I think it’s harder to be the mom sometimes than to be the one in pain. Keep reminding yourself that you’re doing all you can for your baby and some recoveries are just a bit harder than others. I always took much longer to recover after surgery than most people but I still recovered and so will Tora. Your heart is so big and that’s why you are in so much pain.

    Jennifer

  3. Misa says:

    Thank you for the comments – you are so kind. I made an appt. with a dental specialist in town, but he is not available until Monday next week. I am on a waiting list for any cancellation before Monday though. Tora’s mouth smells awful. It might be infected. I am giving him colloidal silver orally to kill bacteria in his mouth. Today, I want to create a calm healing space for Tora. I will start with a cup of camomile tea for myself!!
    Misa

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